A Couple of Guys in A 'Rango

 

By Alex Quitiquit

Editor in Chief

 

PARK CITY-  The road dragged on.  It seemed endless as the sleet began to pelt the windshield.   The landscape was barren and unseen from the fog.  The highway rounded a bend as it lurched towards Pocatello, Idaho.  The black Crown Victoria was nestled, deliberately, in the middle of the median.  The fog rolled in and he was hidden.  Our car passed by, he was unnoticed.  We saw the sirens and the lights.  We pulled the car over, all the while, the snow washed over the Grey Durango.  Some ending to an awesome trip!

    I wouldn't have imagined in my wildest dreams the ridiculousness of a trip like it.  The idea was simple enough.  Load the car up, get a couple of guys together and head to the greatest place on Earth, Lava Hot Springs Idaho.

    I know what you are thinking, what a great idea!  Ya, that's what we said as we headed out on I-15.  The beginning of the ride seemed fine at first, everyone talking, laughing, enjoying themselves.  That quickly turned into silence and the landscape followed suit.  The ride was 3 hours.  It felt as if time had been lost like all the broken down farmhouses on the stretch of highway from the Utah/Idaho border to Pocatello.

    When we pulled into the little city of Lava Hot Springs we were pleasantly surprised.  The few people that were there, jumped to there feet at the sight of tourists.  The city had seemed to be forgotten for the winter and was left to fend for itself.  The roads were unplowed.  The two restaurants in the city were empty.  The fantastic asian knives, brass knuckles, and swords shop was bustling with the business from a few people who had apparently lost there way getting to Oregon.

    Mark, the most gentle, soft spoken man I have ever had the pleasure to meet was our hotel host.  He mirrored Robert Redford in looks, but spoke so softly I had no idea what he said, ever.  Our rooms were small.  They smelled of old cat food.  Mark asked us to taste the coffee. We didn't.

    The Chuckwagon, the greatest eating establishment with it's name, pleasantly surprised us as well.  They served all sorts of food: Italian, Mexican and straight up American cuisine.  The pasta was exquisite, the potato skins were delectable, and the tacos were the hit of the night.  

    If you have never tried a scone, do so, quickly.

    The springs were probably the least exciting aspect of the trip.  They were hot.  Full of fat people.  And the "lobster tank" (coined so for it's super intense temperature) was home to a wide range of extremely "interesting" people.

    

    We left Lava Hot Springs the following morning, but our adventure had not ended just quite yet.

 

    I'm going to assume that none of my readers has ever had the pleasure to experience Fort Hall Casino.  Located half hour north of Pocatello, this diamond in the rough is the home to the state's largest variety of gambling video machines.  

 

    I entered the Casino with 60 dollars.  I left with a ten cent credit note.  It was the gift I got for my girlfriend.

 

As we all sat in the 'Rango, dazed, lost and disillusioned.  We watched as the State Trooper approached the window.

 

    "License and Registration."